Comments for sursumcorda.salemsattic.com/post/it-s-not-supposed-to-be-like-this

Comment #2733

2013-05-16T12:18:11Z

I agree that forced intimacy doesn't work well—a fact I've been trying to tell churches for years.

Comment #2732

2013-05-16T09:45:20Z

Linda - I know my mother would agree with you, but I don't. My mother succeeded in poisoning my relationships with some relatives by trying to force a closeness that was never going to happen (not her parents - I had a great relationship with them!) I remember as a child being afraid that my parents would die, not so much because I would miss them but because would have to live with my aunt and uncle!

Comment #2731

2013-05-15T11:00:31Z

So true. And even though I've left part of my heart everywhere I've been, the experiences have been wonderful.

If it were just my problem, I wouldn't have written about it here, but I think the splintering of families rips the fabric of society, and the more aware we are, the more we can do to ameliorate it. We can't all pick up and go live in the same town, but we can all do smaller things to promote family cohesiveness, such as keeping far-off relatives "alive" in a child's mind through pictures and positive references in daily life, frequent communication through mail and electronic means, and making it a priority to get the extended family together.

I suppose it's just another of my "lost causes," like sustainable, local farming, raw milk and juice, home education, home birth, homemaking, small businesses, higher standards and more freedom for children.... What can we do but raise awareness, do what we can, and try not to fret about what we can't?

Comment #2730

2013-05-15T04:36:38Z

No, it's not right (and note that a "Grandma figure" from church taking the kids for a walk allowed me to read this post) but one of the deeper lessons that I learned the first time I moved far away is that you leave a little bit of your heart wherever you've been and loved. For most it's a pain that remains, but for Christians, it's a blessed reminder that our real home is with Christ and not in the middle of the ocean! We will never find perfect rest in our homes here in earth, even if everyone lived nearby. So for us, it's still painful, but we can appreciate every bit of contact that we have and know that one day it WILL be right.

Comment #2729

2013-05-15T01:35:53Z

Then I hope you can do it someday, Monica. But it still leaves your family split, right? Whatever our choices, there's a price to be paid. :(

It rips my heart apart, Heather, that the bonds that are thus forming are not with our family. Nonetheless, I'm glad that they are there. Far better half the blessing than none.

Comment #2728

2013-05-15T00:02:03Z

And I have no idea how to solve your dilemma. I agree the houseboat in the ocean is certainly a wrong answer!

Comment #2727

2013-05-15T00:00:45Z

Having grown up in your household, far from extended family, I, too, did not know what I was missing.

But now that we live near Jon's parents and sister, I see what you're talking about. There's a special bond growing between Faith and Ryan. There are innumerable little advantages that I never knew existed.

Comment #2726

2013-05-14T17:23:09Z

As a "moved away" child, I really feel this post. My brother lives right next door to our parents with his family, and his parent-in-law is in the same city. I'm very jealous, and should it become feasible for us to return, we will do so!