Comment #3641

2013-05-05T10:20:21Z

Thanks for the comment, Chris. You're absolutely right that children need to develop good judgement about when rules should be broken and what makes authority legitimate. That's why models of childrearing in which obedience is the only or highest good are so damaging. Such judgement is a learned skill, however, and I'm saying that obedience to the rules is the first step in learning to discern when and how the rules can be set aside. Creativity in any field—art, music, life itself—blossoms best on a solid foundation of basic skills.

In any case, my point stands: children who don't behave well in public will continue to shut doors for everyone. When the art museum staff spends too much time chasing after kids who duck under ropes, touch paintings, and run through the galleries, they will take the most immediately effective course of action: ban unsupervised children. It's not fair—but our case will be much stronger if we can show that children are no more likely to misbehave in a museum than adults.

Free-range parenting means preparing our kids for the world, not just turning them loose in it. Our four-year-old granddaughter is as good with a kitchen knife as most adults, but that's because she spent the last two years learning the requisite skills, not because she was turned loose in the knife drawer as a two-year-old.

Comment #3640

2013-05-04T19:25:13Z

But once you've conceded that children shouldn't mindlessly obey every authority figure, then you can't avoid the conclusion that what they need is to develop good judgment about whom to obey. Saying that kids need to think for themselves and develop good judgment is a very different thing from saying that they need to be obedient.

Comments for sursumcorda.salemsattic.com/post/obedience-the-surprising-secret-to-a-free-range-childhood

Comment #3641

Comment #3640