Comments for sursumcorda.salemsattic.com/post/the-upside-of-stress

Comment #4849

2015-09-12T16:36:17Z

There's no doubt that the book is less than clear in many areas, even a bit contradictory, and of course I've not really done it justice here. But even without the book I'm pretty sure I remember the gist of her working definition of stress: When something you care about is at stake.

My greatest take-away from the book is that you can tip stress toward the positive, rather than the negative, by viewing it as a growth opportunity, a chance to make an important contribution, and/or a reminder that you have valuable people and work in your life. Even saying, "this is an opportunity" rather than "I'm so stressed" supposedly helps.

Comment #4848

2015-09-12T16:00:44Z

I still don't fully understand her definition of stress. It seems that stress isn't bad for you, but things that cause stress are, if you're stressed about them, that is. Somehow stress is okay in that it drives us to seek a solution to a problem but if we avoid the problem the stress it causes is harmful. It seems like we need more terms to clarify stress, stress-makers, and the feeling of stress. It's certainly thought-provoking in any case..

Comment #4847

2015-09-12T15:57:06Z

The book doesn't specifically address parenthood, but I could see the applications all over, particularly in the areas of working for larger, enduring goals outside oneself, giving to others, and focusing on growth opportunities.

Comment #4846

2015-09-12T15:46:10Z

Does the advice to give more of your time apply to mothers who already give all their time to their family? Something to ponder for sure.

A few places recommended writing a family mission statement, and even though Stephan was sceptical, we all enjoyed the exercise, though we rarely quote what we came up with. Somehow thinking about the big picture gave the mundane more eternal weight.

Comment #4845

2015-09-11T21:34:14Z

I'm relying on memory here, but as I recall the participants were asked to write about what they valued in life, things like family, honesty, courage, generosity, etc. I get the impression the particular values didn't matter as much as awareness of them, and connecting them to events in everyday life. The book doesn't mention what happens if your values happen to be selfish pleasure, greed, and stomping other people's faces.

Comment #4844

2015-09-11T12:10:48Z

Very interesting.

What does it mean to "write about your values"?