2006-09-08T23:32:42Ztag:sursumcorda.salemsattic.com,2018:/isso/thread/post/whats_missing_heretag:sursumcorda.salemsattic.com,2018:/isso/123/4302006-09-08T23:32:42ZSursumCorda<p>I can't stress enough how glad I am you responded, Pat. My hope when I started the blog was that it would be a conversation, not a monologue. That and an avenue for communication to family and friends during hurricanes. :)</p>tag:sursumcorda.salemsattic.com,2018:/isso/123/4292006-09-08T18:13:07ZSursumCorda<p>No offense meant to dads and other loving relatives. They are critically important to babies! That doesn't make them completely interchangeable with mothers, though.</p>tag:sursumcorda.salemsattic.com,2018:/isso/123/4282006-09-08T18:09:48ZSursumCorda<p>No, No, no, not at all! That's not what I meant. I've said many times that formula feeding and other choices I consider less than ideal are often the very best that can be done. Raising children is nothing if not a series of compromises with what we think is ideal -- even if people could agree on what is best, which is never going to happen.</p> <p>We're quite happy with the way our children turned out, but there are plenty of things we wish would could have done differently. My siblings and I not only survived formula feeding (if you can call evaporated milk and corn syrup &quot;formula&quot;), but rigid feeding schedules, solid food introduced at one month, cigarette smoke everywhere, and a host of other things that would horrify parents today.</p> <p>My point is not to criticize someone else's decisions, even if they were by choice and not necessity. The criminals, as far as I'm concerned, are those in the baby formula industry, and the medical profession, who promote the idea that an artificial substitute is <em>just as good</em> as the real thing, or at least close enough that there's no point in trying very hard to provide the original. Doctors are quick to discourage mothers who have minor breastfeeding struggles -- hence the recent rise in the lactation consultant business. When our children were babies, there was no admission from the medical authorities that there was anything better in breast milk than in formula -- and I'm sure the same was true of the cow's milk/corn syrup concoction the doctors were promoting to our parents.</p> <p>Perhaps I'm a bit touchy here because I've seen too many instances of &quot;this isn't ideal but it's what we have to do, and we can make up for it in other ways&quot; turned into &quot;it really doesn't matter what we do; one choice is as good as another,&quot; or even, &quot;the thing we used to consider a substitute is really better than the original.&quot; Caesarean sections are commonly being chosen, not for medical reasons, but for convenience. Day care is considered not just a necessity for some families, but a childrearing choice just as good as -- or maybe better than -- sacrificing so that children can be home with their mothers (and/or fathers). It's not that I don't commend those companies that make it easier for mothers to pump milk for their babies. But I wish the article had pointed out that supplying milk is only one part of feeding a baby. Even though those babies are getting the benefits of their mother's milk, they are still being fed by strangers much of the time. You are Alex's mom, and there is no substitute that is &quot;just as good&quot;!</p> <p>Thanks for writing! I always worry that someone will be offended by something I write and not give me a chance to explain and/or apologize.</p>tag:sursumcorda.salemsattic.com,2018:/isso/123/4272006-09-08T16:54:43ZPat Langdon<p>Wow!! Because I was physically unable to breast feed Alex, I'm considered a criminal? I think he's a pretty great kid, even though he recieved the dreaded formula. Everything is not always black or white, right or wrong.</p>